10th September - Apologies, Sad Goodbyes, Welcome Hellos and general rambllings....

It feels like it's been forever since I've written a blog post and for that I'm sorry, but so much has been happening both in my own personal life and in the life of DealingWithDepression In fact so much has happened that I'm not really sure where to start, so forgive me if this doesn't make much sense or is in much order, but I know that you'll all understand.

Personally my husband has been struggling with his depression, anxiety, paranoia and social phobia and it's all been really hard to cope with as well as our eldest starting secondary school. I am so proud of our son as he has Aspergers Syndrome and finds change and new things really difficult to cope with. I hope he's settling in OK, although there appear to be a few teething issues, but I am sure we'll get there as long as he starts talking to me!

DWD has gone global in a really big way almost overnight and whilst I am thrilled with that, I'm scared by the responsibility I feel to so many - to give the right advice, to be online enough to make a difference and that I can handle it all. Our Facebook Page has shot up from struggling to get to 200 "likes" to now having over 6,600 worldwide members. It's really hard to know how much to post on there and I know that I haven't got that balance quite right yet, but I am working on it.
To cope with the huge increase in demand I've been really lucky at recruiting a number of "staff" to help monitor the page, answer the sometimes 10s, sometimes 100s of private messages we get every day as well as posting interesting or relavant items to the page to keep interest and to help reach out and break that terrible stigma which so many are struggling with on a daily basis.  The staff are fantastic and knowing that they are all working around their own lives, families, work commitments and mental health issues they are the unsung heros of DWD and they make it all possible. I just couldn't do it alone.
I'm trying hard to learn how different countries see mental health and how their systems work, it's hard and it's complicated, but most people are genuinely understanding when I suggest something which doesn't quite work for them, and for that I'm really grateful.

I've had to increase the staffing on the forum too as we have sadly lost our wonderful Aspasia to a teaching postion teaching English as a Foreign Language in Cairo. Whilst I am thrilled that she's doing something she has always wanted to do, it's no secret that Im going to miss having her around to text! She's not only an awesome moderator and someone who can always put into words what I'm thinking but she's become a great friend over the years too. I know that although this is a massive life change for her, it's going to be a great one for her and will be nothing short of awesome for those whose lives she will change.  So a sad goodbye to Aspasia for the time being, but she will be back ;)
The upside of us becoming much busier is that we've changed some staffing too. Emmie who is nothing short of miraculous with a wicked sense of humour, owner of her own business and Mum to the wonderful "Midget" has stepped up to the post of Assistant Admin which I'm really pleased about.
The lovely Jarre and Squishymama have both stepped up as Moderators which is wonderful as they are both perfect for the role and I know they will help shape and push DWD onwards and upwards.

Today has been a wierd day. It is "suicide prevention day" and yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of the passing of my lovely Dad. I've kind of therefore been thinking about grief a lot today and tried to be reaching out and reminding people of all the wonderful organisations who are out there to help when someone is in crisis. Samaritans are one such organisation who do such amazing work 24 hours a day, 7 days of the week, 52 weeks of the year. They are trained to talk to people over the phone/text or email.  Never forget that you are never alone, there is ALWAYS someone you can talk to.

I've promised myself that I'm going to do more blog posts and hope to share some more of the wonderful things that our members of the forum and facebook group do. We have some amazing artists, writers, posts, photographers and everything inbetween.
If you want to submit something creative or a link to your own business/site to be posted on this blog, please don't hesitate to CONTACT ME

I know this is a really long post (sorry) but once I started typing I just couldn't stop!

I normally do a couple of plugs for wonderful businesses which support DWD through their owners giving up their time to help with the technical/moderating/admin of either or both the forum or the FB page, but I know this is really long and it's the first in a while, so I'll keep it short:

Hills Handicrafts - Handmade beautifully crafted items
Kangarinos - Slings and baby carriers
Templedene Consultants - Website design, hosting and CMS
Precious Jewels Gems - Handmade beautiful jewellery
Alison George - Independent Trader for Phoenix Cards

Thanks for reading, I do appreciate it! :)

Suzi

Spotlight: Veggie's Story

Please remember that this has been written by a member who has bravely decided to share her story. I am incredibly in awe of this member. She is amazing and an inspiration for all in my opinion. I haven't changed anything. This is as she wrote it.

Thank you for sharing.

My Name is Veggie,i am married to a great husband and have a fabulous daughter who will be 18 in the summer, i have a lovely caring enviroment.

I clean for elderly people which i enjoy as it gives me chance to have a good old chat to them.It's not so much about the cleaning,it's more about company and support for them really.

I have suffered with depression for as long as i can remember, but as a child i didn't really realise it was depression, i just felt "sad".
The thing that really kicked it off was the fact that i was sexually abused by my father from the age of 4 1/2yrs and mentally and physically abused by my mother for as long as i can remember.
I can remember as a 3yr old being beaten for wetting the bed, (i continued to wet the bed well into my teens) My dad would protect me from the beatings as long as he was getting certain favours.

There was no escape anywhere for me, we had no other family and were known as one of those "odd" families on our street, some of the other kids weren't allowed to play with me.
When i got to secondary school the bullying started really badly and what little self-esteem i had was virtually bullied out of me,i became very withdrawn.
My sister had the same happen to her and although she got beatings from our mother,it was made clear that she was our mother's favourite, i would often be told that i wasn't loved.I once found a poem written to my sister from our mother telling her how beautiful she was and what a fabulouse daughter she was,that was the biggest kick in the teeth and i knew from that moment that my mother truly hated me.

When i was 11yrs old my parents managed to fool social services into letting them foster, we had a girl that was mentally disturbed,eventually she started to get beatings too, her school stepped in and my parents were taken to court, it was such a scary time,the police turned up one saturday morning and arrested all of us,i was locked in a cell alone and saw none of my family, i was told that if i didn't comply i would be put into care. I wish so much that i had been brave enough to speak up,but i wasn't.
The case was dropped on a technicality and the foster girl was never seen by us again,niether did they foster again.

Somehow i managed to carry on through life and eventually when i was 20yrs old i mat my lovely husband and finally told him about everything,he was the first person i'd ever told.
He was fantastic and really helped me,we'd talk for hours and i would cry for hours.
When we moved in together i remember trying to pick fights all the time because i wasn't used to being treated nicely, i wanted him to shout at me and abuse me because that was what i was accustomed to.
I eventually has coucelling for 5yrs and it did help to an extent.
We went on to have fertility treatment and had our daughter and once she was born i was determined she wouldn't suffer the way i did, i tried my hardest to make life good for her.
Ii'm sorry to say that i do still suffer with depression and i think i always will,sometimes i handle it,sometimes i fall to pieces.

The worst thing about suffering with depression is the feelings of hopelessness,the desire to end life,the failure to see good in life.
But there are also posative to being depressed, one is that i have found this amazing site and have made some fabulous friends, also depression has made me the person i am today, a fighter and a survivor.
Last year certain events triggered me to have a breakdown and i'm still trying to recover from that now.I get good days and bad days,which is something i've learnt with the depression.

I think the most important thing when suffering from depression is to talk,open up and let all the "poison" out and to take tiny steps on the climb back up, at the time you feel as if you will be forever under this huge black cloud, but that isn't the case,there is light at the end of the tunnel,there are good days you just have to take them when they come,grab them with both hands and soak them up.
On a bad day try to remember that there are and will be good days again.
That's it in a nutshell really, never give up.

Monday 26th! Plug for Ali!

A totally shameless plug after a really really busy day on the DWD forum today! We are getting busier and busier. Please remember to check up on anyone you know who may b finding things tough!

On a really positive note one of our moderators (Mummyhill) and family have carved their pumpkins and they look fab! Why not pop along and have a look at our SHOW US YOUR PUMPKINS THREAD

Another of our more than fabulous moderators Seaspirit is raising moneyby completing Skydive for Parkinsons UK on 09/04/2011!!! She is braver than me!!! PLEASE pop along to her "just giving" page and sponsor her if you can, it's for a brilliant brilliant cause and would be great to show our support to her! SPONSOR HER HERE !