Panic Attacks explained the Da Nessie Way

Admin Note: I am posting this brilliant piece by one of our members, Nessie who has agreed to let me copy it here. I have copied and pasted the below and it is just as Nessie has written it. I have set it as a "sticky topic" on the forum as I think that it is something which could provide invaluable as a resource for many others. Thank you Nessie xxx

It seems to me that a lot of people on DWD suffer with panic attacks and are in need of advice and information on the subject so i have decided to start this thread explaining what panic attacks are in my own words and what i have found helps me. I hope i can help some of you too...

Panic attacks explained the Nessie way....:~)

Panic attacks are some of the most scary experiences you will come across ever!

I have suffered with panic attacks most of my life and can tell you it’s one of the most difficult things in the world to gain control of.

My experiences with panic started the first year I started working where a bomb was planted in the building across the road from where I was working and after the explosion I did what most people tell you not to do, I ran to the window to look! What I saw that day stays with me and I believe is the start of what is call post traumatic stress disorder. I looked down onto the street and saw carnage, but what sticks with me was a man lying in the middle of the road with half his leg blown off... I can still recall that moment and visualize it...

My attacks got worse after a car accident that put me in hospital for 3 months and among other things living in South Africa and having to deal with being robbed 9 times in 3 years to the point where I actually woke up with a guy at the end of my bed one night!

It was kind of inevitable that I should developed a panic disorder don't you think?

I can't tell you how many times I have been to doctors only to have them tell me I need to see psychiatrists... my response was "are you saying I am crazy?" My symptoms are real and I feel like absolute crap!

Truth is it wasn't until I actually started doing some research and actually learning about panic attacks that I started understanding what it is and what effect it has on your body. My theory now is that you can't begin to defeat what's wrong with you if you have no concept of what it is that you are fighting. So I am writing this down and hoping that it may actually help others to understand panic attacks and help them actually find ways of being in control again cause there is nothing worse than that feeling a panic attack brings that you have no control over it and you are actually gonna die!

Anyway this is my take on panic attacks.

Now I am no scientist but this is what I have learnt and has worked for me. Firstly understanding what a panicky attack is.

OK in the good old days when we were hunters and gatherers if we came across a lion in the jungle what would happen? Well me I would run screaming from the scene like a crazy person! I am guessing you would to otherwise all that would be left of you is a wet patch...

Well this is what they call the fight or flight syndrome. Your body reacts by giving you extra adrenalin so you can run your little legs off!

Only times have changed and there no longer is the need for you to run away from things our danger is still very real but also very different. You can't run away when you are in a car accident can you? Granted there are circumstances were up will need to run like when you are being mugged and all that. But my theory is this... you get attacked by a lion maybe once and then learn to avoid me but in today's society where people are always scared of being mugged, raped, being in car accidents, walking down the road and getting shot by some random taxi driver who has lost his marbles.... well the end result is that we as people stay in a constant state of anxiety. Our adrenal gland is forever giving extra adrenaline that our bodies don't know what to do with because we really have nowhere to run to!

So what happens when you have extra adrenaline that you don't really use?

Adrenalin is a hormone and a neurotransmitter. When produced in the body it increases heart rate, contracts blood vessels and dilates air passages. Its purpose is to prepare the body for quick reaction.

The heart starts to pump faster providing the muscles with more oxygen. - (my reaction OMG why does my chest feel so tight? I am having a heart attack!!)

Eye pupils dilate in order to take in more light. (JEEZ who turned on the bloody lights I am getting a migraine!)

The veins in the skin constrict in order to send more blood to major muscle groups. This bodily reaction is responsible for the chills and shaking that people feel when experiencing a panic attack. The redistribution of blood means that there is less blood to keep the skin warm and this also makes it loose colour and look pale. (OMG I want to run away, why, how, where can I run to? I am so confused what's wrong with me? I must be getting sick!)

The levels of blood-glucose increase. Glucose is the simplest form of sugar and is quickly absorbed by the body. This means that the body has released into the blood stream extra energy resources. Muscles tense up - energized from the adrenaline and glucose. (Why do I feel so tense and stressed and wound up? What's wrong with me am I getting sick? Am I having some kind of seizure?)

None essential systems like digestion, hair and nail growth and also the immune system shut down. This is the reason why people often experience feeling of indigestion. (URG I feel sick and nauseous)

Temporally the human body is functioning at its best, absorbing stored energy, vitamins and minerals in order for it to run and fight at its hardest. (Why am I shaking so much, jeez I feel like I want to jump out of my own body and run away from it!)

Once a panic attack has started all these processes happens automatically. Adrenalin is a hormone and once released into the blood stream there is nothing a person can do to stop producing its effects physically. However people can prepare mentally in order to prevent panic attacks from happening.

I believe that the last statement is our beacon of hope. It means that you can take control over what happens to you. But its something only you can do.... trust me no one can do it for you because they don't feel what you feel and have no idea how bad it feels to be there. The thing to remember is that somehow your brain has now been trained to panic all the time and what you need to do is somehow find a way to retrain your brain.

So these are my tools for dealing with a panic attacks.

First i learnt a way to distract myself from the panic attack, and then i learnt to control the attack through breathing and my very own adaptation of meditation...

The following video I watched some time ago and honestly at first it made me laugh my head off because there is no way I could do that in public...! I would look like I was having some kind of mental breakdown...lol But I did realize in doing it that it actually distracted me from what I was going through..... so watch the video and try to be honest about how you feel after you have done the whole exercise all the way through. The point I am trying to make with the video is that if you distract yourself from the negative emotions you feel you can actually be in control. Again you can go around tapping every day but I find something as simple as just holding onto a acupressure point on my wrist now helps me to start focusing on my breathing and distract myself from the negative feelings... you have nothing to lose by just trying the technique and adapting it to suit you...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gmz-b2sV0Q&feature=channel

In my bid to gain control over panic attacks I have watched many videos and read a million articles on the internet and have picked out a few that actually helped me, i have learnt so much about meditation and how it can help, but i do believe meditation is a very personal thing and you have to find a person and a voice that works for you. I hope they will help you but if they bore you please don't let them distract you from finding the path that works for you. Just try to remember nothing worth achieving was achieved easily, we always have to put hard work and effort into anything worth having.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSU8ftmmhmw&feature=channel

Free guided meditation links: I have personally downloaded all the free guided meditations they offer and can assure you they are all quite safe

http://www.silvaultramindsystem.com/lp/meditation-2

http://www.project-meditation.org/

http://www.fragrantheart.com/cms/free-audio-meditations

30th May 2011

Depression is horrible. That much anyone who has ever been around someone with depression or experienced it themselves knows only too well. It doesn't only affect those with it, but those all around. It's like a ripple effect when you throw a stone into a lake. The ripples spread far wider than you think - and certainly further than you want.

One of our members posted something which they had posted on their blog yesterday and I thought that it might help someone else. I have asked permission (as always) and this has been given so I can share it with you.

I am depressed. I have depression. What does this mean? What should you say/do/think?

Don't think you have to treat me differently.
Talk to me
Ask me questions
Show that you care-a note, a text, anything will do
Be there for me
If you are serious about wanting to help be prepared for the long haul-its unlikely to get better overnight.
Don't make promises you can't keep (especially promises of time)
Just because I smile or laugh doesn't mean I'm "better"
Don't assume that because I'm depressed I can't smile or laugh. I do still have a sense of humour!
Don't make it all about me. Let me be a friend to you too.
Be prepared for silences when we're together

I think it's great, it certainly struck a chord with me, having been with my husband for a very long time and been with him through the marathon of his depression.

Something else happened to me yesterday, and this is a genuine desperate plea. A friend of mine went missing a couple of days ago; just vanished. He, like so many others, has been in a really really dark place and had left a message on facebook saying that he had lost everything so was checking out. I couldn't imagine firstly being that broken that disappearing or taking my own life is the only option I had, secondly being the person left behind and not knowing. He was found last night safe and unharmed which is brilliant news, but it made me have a desperate feeling of having to say not only to my husband, but to all the members several things:

~ No matter how bad things are, you aren't alone. There are people who care, who won't judge you, who will listen and who will be there for you.

~ If you do need some space, then let someone know. It doesn't have to be a long phonecall. Send a text, send an email, just let your loved ones know you are "just" taking space to work through things.

~ Get help. Yes we have all heard (or experienced 1st hand) that mental health services aren't fast, sometimes it takes a fight, but don't deal with your depression alone. Go to your GP or to A+E and get some help. Take someone you can talk easily in front of with you and a list of things you want to say. If it gets too much then hand over that list. Sadly you aren't the first and wont be the last person that the GP will see with depression or in tears.

~ Remember that having depression or mental health illness does NOT make you a failure, it is NOT a sign of weakness, it does not mean that you are defective or anything else. It means that you have been too strong for too long and you need some help. The same as you would if you had broken your leg. That is it. Nothing more than that.

~ With the right help, love and support it WILL get better. You rae amazing, you are wonderful and the world needs you in it.

SPOTLIGHT: My story.

Wow, this feels weird. I am in total awe of Veggie and Mummyhill who have allowed me the privilege of posting their stories here, and I suppose that I should do the same.

My name is Suzi and I am the owner of DWD. Although my story is a little different. Although I have had PND with the birth of each of my babies it's not the same.

For me PND was so different each time and is truly not something I would wish on my worst enemy. It was so hard when you were meant to be the happiest person alive as you had your new bundle of joy to love and to look after and who would love you.

With my first (now 10!) his delivery was just the worst that you could ever imagine. The "not for faint hearted version" is that I was having contractions from the Sunday night and they got to 1 minute apart but I didn't dilate. Eventually on the Wednesday morning after no sleep, huge amounts of pain etc I eventually had an emergency C Section. It's a miracle that he is here, and me too. But no one (not even my husband) will ever know the full details of what happened during that time. I still have nightmares about it. With him I was so overprotective, but also trying to come to terms with the circumstances of his delivery and knowing that when he was 4 months old I would have to go back to work. It was horrible.

With my second I honestly didn't know if I could go through that again, so went to a different hospital who were brilliant. She was an elective c section as I was told there was no way I could ever even try to give birth naturally. After I had her though I just couldn't bond once we left hospital at all. I still feel guilty for that. She is amazing though. It didn't last long, my husband spotted all the signs and got me to talk to my health visitor. He also was brilliant, he listened to everything I had to say and never judged me for how I was feeling.

My third pregnancy was awful. My husband had crashed really badly with depression and openly told me that he didn't want any more, but that he would stick by me and my decisions. I knew I couldn't terminate the pregnancy and am so glad I didn't. She is such an amazing character (now nearly 6) and from the first moment he saw her he was glad too, she melted his heart instantly. With her I wouldn't let anyone else near....

One of the worst PND days was when I had to go for my 6 week check up at my GP's. I had my two baby girls (1 at 6 weeks and 1 at 16 months) in a double buggy and had bought only the bear essentials out with me. I had booked in at reception and gone to sit outside the drs room to be seen. I was there for what felt like hours, but I couldn't go anywhere to check as I didn't want to miss the appointment. I was in pain (3rd C section) and both the girls needed feeding and I had to get back in the other direction to get my 3 year old from nursery. It was only when the receptionist walked down with a cup of tea for the dr, looked at me and said "oh sorry I forgot to book you in! You'll have to come back to reception with me and we'll have to rearrange!" I couldn't believe it. I followed her back to the reception and just cried as she told me that I couldn't be seen now for another 2 weeks. I ended up collapsed on the floor of the reception with 2 screaming babies. It was at that point that my health visitor was called to help me as "well you are rather emotional aren't you?" She was amazing. She did the "are you suffering with pnd test" with me and was shocked as to my high level. She knew about my husband and was concerned, but supportive. She referred me to home start who were fabulous too. From there things got better. They did. Getting just a little help a couple of hours a week really was amazing.

But it was nothing like the way that my husband got. He sank deeper and deeper into a depression whilst he was working as a mental health housing support worker. His client base were people with very complex mental health illnesses and this did pull him down. The constant fighting of "the system" which just wasn't put in place to help (or so it seemed). Just as he found "the answer" another part of "the system" popped up and blocked the way. In the end it was just all too much for him.

He had a breakdown. It was the most scary time that I can remember. Up until we had a letter through the door saying "notice of intention to seek posession" I was under the impression that he was still paying the rent. He hadn't been. I wasn't working at the time and was at home with 1 3 year old displaying all the classic signs of Aspergers, 1 15 month old and a newborn baby. I didn't know what to do or where to turn.

No one at the benefits agencies would talk to me as if I was human, some of those I did end up speaking to were so amazingly rude. Did they think I wanted to be in this situation? Begging them for help?

Several days are clearer and more ingrained than others. He couldn't really function at all for 3 months, he didn't know how to interact with me or his babies. He likens it to knowing that there are 3 children there who need to be looked after and going through the motions, but now he's much better it's like they are HIS children. Does that make sense?

He went on medication. The side effects were awful. So he stopped. Just stopped and then felt even worse. He then tried some different meds, same thing. He had CBT and Counselling none of which really worked for him. Then he tried different meds and they made a difference. OK so it wasn't MY him, but he was far more alive than he had been. The meds were upped and upped and he was on them for 3 years. Within that time he has had a couple of CPNs - one of whom was brilliant, but only a locum.

The side effects from being on such a high dose for a long time is that he couldn't feel anything. Just numb is how he described it to me. He couldn't cry, couldn't feel joy or sadness or anything. He made the decision to stop taking them. Although I would have rathered that he did it gradually I knew he wouldn't and he didn't. He just stopped. To be honest though we haven't looked back. He now takes omega 3,6 + 9 oil capsules and these are just brilliant for him.

In the midst of all that with a friend we started DWD. I didn't want anyone else to ever have to go through what I had - the feeling of being alone, of not knowing who to talk to, where to turn. It's been such a hard journey, but so worth it. I will never ever underestimate the power of talking and of knowing that someone is there who actually cares. That's the most important thing and if I can be that person for 1 other person then I have done some good. All I ever wanted to do when I was little was to change the world and with my fabulous crew on DWD I will do - one person at a time.

Spotlight on "Mummyhill"

Again, as with the other "spotlight" pieces we are running, please remember how brave these members are sharing their story. They are doing it, not for glory, but in order to help others and to help break down the stigma surrounding mental health illness.

Mummyhill has been with DWD for many years and is now Assistant Admin. Without all her hard work behind the scenes it would be a total nightmare trying to keep on top of everything! Much much love and respect to another now very close friend.

I am 36 yr old mum of three. I have suffered from depression on and off since my childhood. The first bout was triggered by a series of deaths in the family the most distressing one was the loss of my Cousin in an RTA. After my second child I had sever post natal depression which led to a well meaning person putting a report in to social services which I found extremely distressing. After they had signed everything off we had a new health visitor who applied a lot of pressure and made me feel threatened this led to me coming very close to a break down. I stopped my Anti depressants when I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd child and have received a lot of counseling including some CBT work.

At my very lowest points I stop doing housework and looking after my self properly. I ignore letters and important looking post as I can't cope with anything else on top of the depression and getting the children sorted out. They have always been put to the fore front I ensure that they are well fed properly clothed etc but neglect myself instead. This has understandably led to tensions within my marriage but we have worked through most of it.

Many people find it hard to understand depression and there is still a stigma which needs to be removed. The worst thing for me is being told to pull myself together or to stop being a drama queen when I over react to a situation due to my anxiety issues. The best thing has been finding DWD with all the support there.


I tried a wide variety of anti depressants before finding the right one for me. I have had counseling and CBT therapy. The CBT has been very effective although the most important thing was learning to talk to people and ask for help. DWD and the team there have been a massive help in that area and have given my the courage to speak out.


The most important things to remember are:
1) You are not alone.
2) It is really important to eat and drink sensibly.
3) Exercise can help
4) Last but no means least talk to any one and everyone but mostly to a medical professional if they don't know there's a problem they can't help you!

Friday!

So it's FridayFab5s day again! I am sure that these weeks are moving quicker and quicker! Have you logged on and written your list of 5 things which have been positive for you or made you smile this week? It's such a good exercise and it is less than one thing a day! This weeks list can be found HERE

We have to send our congratulations to two of our American members who became grandparents again last night! Brilliant news! Well done to MaraUT and to LostFriend.

It's been a really busy week on the forum. It's been lovely to see some older members as well as seeing new ones too. It's lovely to hear what everyone is up to!

We have had several members having issues with alcohol this week so Mummyhill has updated our list of helpline numbers to include some for dealing with alcoholism and MaraUT has added the relevant ones for the US too. If you need them don't hesitate to call someone. Remember alcohol is a depressant and so won't be helping your mood. Helpline thread can be found HERE

Spotlight: Veggie's Story

Please remember that this has been written by a member who has bravely decided to share her story. I am incredibly in awe of this member. She is amazing and an inspiration for all in my opinion. I haven't changed anything. This is as she wrote it.

Thank you for sharing.

My Name is Veggie,i am married to a great husband and have a fabulous daughter who will be 18 in the summer, i have a lovely caring enviroment.

I clean for elderly people which i enjoy as it gives me chance to have a good old chat to them.It's not so much about the cleaning,it's more about company and support for them really.

I have suffered with depression for as long as i can remember, but as a child i didn't really realise it was depression, i just felt "sad".
The thing that really kicked it off was the fact that i was sexually abused by my father from the age of 4 1/2yrs and mentally and physically abused by my mother for as long as i can remember.
I can remember as a 3yr old being beaten for wetting the bed, (i continued to wet the bed well into my teens) My dad would protect me from the beatings as long as he was getting certain favours.

There was no escape anywhere for me, we had no other family and were known as one of those "odd" families on our street, some of the other kids weren't allowed to play with me.
When i got to secondary school the bullying started really badly and what little self-esteem i had was virtually bullied out of me,i became very withdrawn.
My sister had the same happen to her and although she got beatings from our mother,it was made clear that she was our mother's favourite, i would often be told that i wasn't loved.I once found a poem written to my sister from our mother telling her how beautiful she was and what a fabulouse daughter she was,that was the biggest kick in the teeth and i knew from that moment that my mother truly hated me.

When i was 11yrs old my parents managed to fool social services into letting them foster, we had a girl that was mentally disturbed,eventually she started to get beatings too, her school stepped in and my parents were taken to court, it was such a scary time,the police turned up one saturday morning and arrested all of us,i was locked in a cell alone and saw none of my family, i was told that if i didn't comply i would be put into care. I wish so much that i had been brave enough to speak up,but i wasn't.
The case was dropped on a technicality and the foster girl was never seen by us again,niether did they foster again.

Somehow i managed to carry on through life and eventually when i was 20yrs old i mat my lovely husband and finally told him about everything,he was the first person i'd ever told.
He was fantastic and really helped me,we'd talk for hours and i would cry for hours.
When we moved in together i remember trying to pick fights all the time because i wasn't used to being treated nicely, i wanted him to shout at me and abuse me because that was what i was accustomed to.
I eventually has coucelling for 5yrs and it did help to an extent.
We went on to have fertility treatment and had our daughter and once she was born i was determined she wouldn't suffer the way i did, i tried my hardest to make life good for her.
Ii'm sorry to say that i do still suffer with depression and i think i always will,sometimes i handle it,sometimes i fall to pieces.

The worst thing about suffering with depression is the feelings of hopelessness,the desire to end life,the failure to see good in life.
But there are also posative to being depressed, one is that i have found this amazing site and have made some fabulous friends, also depression has made me the person i am today, a fighter and a survivor.
Last year certain events triggered me to have a breakdown and i'm still trying to recover from that now.I get good days and bad days,which is something i've learnt with the depression.

I think the most important thing when suffering from depression is to talk,open up and let all the "poison" out and to take tiny steps on the climb back up, at the time you feel as if you will be forever under this huge black cloud, but that isn't the case,there is light at the end of the tunnel,there are good days you just have to take them when they come,grab them with both hands and soak them up.
On a bad day try to remember that there are and will be good days again.
That's it in a nutshell really, never give up.

Spotlight

Tomorrow will be the first of the DWD Spotlight sessions.

One of our members who has had an amazing journey and is a true inspiration has been brave enough to write her story and has allowed me to publish it here. I shall be doing so with the utmost respect and admiration for her.

Please check back tomorrow for Veggies story.