The official blog for the UK based (although catering for world wide) forum www.dealingwithdepression.co.uk Please join us. We are the only place which specifically caters for those with depression and other mental health illness as well as their friends and families. 

We are a supportive and positive place to share both the pain and the joys of depression and mental health illness. 

Monday, 15 October 2012

Guest Blog: Cindy: A week of Facebook posts raising awareness of mental health illness and breaking the stigma

One of our regular likers from the FACEBOOK PAGE has sent us a message with copies of her posts raising the issue and awareness for mental health illness and to help break the stigma! She is such a champion for mental health issues. Thank you Cindy!


The views posted below are those of Cindy and are copied exactly as they were sent to me.. I know that not everyone will have the same thoughts and the same faith as Cindy, but these are things which she has found to help her. I am so glad that she sent us this so that we could share it with you all.  

Suzi


Monday
This week is Mental Health Awareness Week. Many of you know, but for those who don't, I have Major Depressive Disorder or Clinical Depression. I see a psychiatrist and a therapist and take medication. I'm not announcing this to get sympathy, but to let you know that it's real, it's ok to talk about it, and there is help and hope. If any of you or anyone you know is struggling with depression, I'm more than willing to talk or listen or share my experiences.

Tuesday
In honor of Mental Health Awareness week I'll be posting what I hope is helpful information at least once a day. I had suffered from Depression for a very long time before I was diagnosed. It was because I simply didn't know what the symptoms were. So, for your information, here they are: According to the National Institute of Mental Health and the Mayo Clinic, symptoms of depression may include the following:
- Crying spells for no apparent reason
- Indecisiveness, distractibility and decreased concentration
- Fatigue and decreased energy (even small tasks may seem to require a lot of effort)
- Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness (fixating on past failures or blaming yourself when things aren't going right)
- Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
- Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
- Irritability, restlessness (pacing, hand-wringing, inability to sit still)
- Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable
- Overeating or appetite loss
- Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
- Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings (feeling numb)
- Frequent thoughts of death, dying, or suicide

Wednesday
Cindy's Mental Health/Depression advise for the day:Talk about it.
Sometimes that may seem like the hardest thing to do, but I promise, it helps. It might take you a little while to find someone who is willing to listen without being judgmental, but they are out there. Besides friends and family, try church leaders or fellow members, a school counselor, or look for a support group. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) is a great organization and has support groups all over the country.

Thursday
Cindy's Mental Health/Depression advise for the day: Find music that you enjoy and listen to it often.
  I have always been a very musical person, and music has a powerful effect on me. I know it's not the same for everyone, but I think most people enjoy music to a certain extent. I use different types of music to get me through different struggles. 
- When I need to accomplish something around the house I listen to something upbeat that I can sing along to, usually County.
- When I'm paying bills, which stresses me out like crazy, I listen to classical cello music.
- When I can't sleep because my mind is in overdrive I listen to composers like Claude Debussy and Erik Satie. Some more contemporary composers (whose music is often found in movie scores) are John Barry and Phillip Glass. There pieces have simple melodies, slower tempos, and I am able to just let my mind relax and get lost in the music. I try to concentrate on the images it brings to mind and the feelings it stirs up. I listen to my "bedtime" playlist almost every night and it has been a great help. I also use it when I am just feeling overly emotional and need to calm down.
On the flip side, if you are the one doing the listening, remember that simply listening is more than likely what they need most. Unless they specifically ask for it, try not to offer solutions, ways to "fix" things, etc.

Friday
Cindy's Mental Health/Depression advise for the day: Give yourself credit for something good you've done every day.
Our own self-talk can be nothing but negative sometimes and we need to make a conscious effort to find the good. So give yourself a pat on the back if you got out of bed and got dressed today, or if you walked down the lane to the mailbox and back, of if you actually cooked supper for your family (that's a big one for me ;) Life is not all sadness and hopelessness, even when we feel like it is (because the imbalanced chemicals in our brains are telling us it is). We have the power to fight back, to talk back to our inner voices and say, "I am not a complete loser and failure because I loaded the dishwasher today, so THERE!" :)

Saturday
Cindy's Mental Health/Depression advise for the day: Laugh!
Easier said than done when you're depressed, but it is possible.Look up funny videos on-line, watch old SNL skits (Patrick Swayze and Chris Farley as Chippendale dancers never fails me ;) or pull out a favorite old comedy. A few of mine are What about Bob, Napoleon Dynamite, and The Princess Bride. Today I watched an episode of the new show Ben and Kate and was laughing out loud by the end. Great medicine!
This piece of advice is actually a two-fer. The second part is: allow yourself the time to do something just for you. When I'm depressed and I'm not getting things accomplished like I should be, I feel guilty doing anything myself, but it's important to not neglect yourself because if you do it will just worsen, or at least not improve the depression.

Sunday
This is the last day of Mental Health Awareness week, so this is my last, and perhaps most important, piece of advise: Have faith!
This may not apply to everyone, but I am a Christian, and having faith in a loving God is what makes the hardest times bearable. The many years I suffered from Depression but had yet to be diagnosed, I thought the reason I wasn't feeling the Holy Spirit in my life was because I just wasn't a good enough person. Turns out, Depression dulls your ability to feel much of anything at all. I often felt completely numb. I read a book that said that when you are deeply depressed, you have to really look for God's hand in your life because you're simply not going to feel it as much as you'd like. I have done that and it has made me so aware of all the many ways God blesses me. I may not feel it, but I can see and know it in my mind. He has blessed me with an amazing husband who is loving, patient, and supportive.  He blesses my by sending His Holy Spirit to others who then feel inspired to contact me and lend their support and understanding. This has happened over and over again these past few weeks and it always amazes me.He has blessed me with amazing friends who are willing to listen without judgment and offer up prayers for me. It comes down to this:
God is my Father in Heaven. He loves me more that my frail, mortal mind can comprehend. He knows me personally and is mindful of exactly what I struggle with; my pain, my fear, my worries, my inadequacies, my guilt; He knows it all. No matter how deeply depressed I may get; I know that He will NEVER forsake me. He will never leave me to face my trials alone. God loves each and every one of us like this, so I say, have faith.


Wednesday, 10 October 2012

World Mental Health Day 10th October 2012



 I can't actually believe it's been a whole year since I wrote one of these blog posts. They are probably my favourite ones to write as I like to celebrate on all the positives and amazing things which people who have diagnosed mental health conditions do.

So, why have a World Mental Health Day? Well this is what WHO (World Health Organisation) have to say about it...

World Mental Health Day raises public awareness about mental health issues. The day promotes open discussion of mental disorders, and investments in prevention, promotion and treatment services. This year the theme for the day is “Depression: A Global Crisis”.
Depression affects more than 350 million people of all ages, in all communities, and is a significant contributor to the global burden of disease. Although there are known effective treatments for depression, access to treatment is a problem in most countries and in some countries fewer than 10% of those who need it receive such treatment.
 Taken from  http://www.who.int/mediacentre/events/annual/world_mental_health_day/en/index.html

With our Facebook page having over 9600 likes now and our forum getting busier and busier we have seen just how global the struggles of those with mental health illness - in particular depression - really is. It's something that doesn't discriminate against colour, gender, sexuality, religious belief, age or anything else which can separate people. Sadly it is on the increase and the statistics now show that 1 in 3 people will at some point in their lifetime experience some form of mental health illness. Yet there is still such a stigma against mental health that it really doesn't make sense to me at all.

So many people hear the words "Mental Health Illness" and seem to write off those who have them or see "the label" rather than the person. On DealingWithDepression (both the forum and the Facebook Page ) we try really hard to see past the illness, past the sadness, past the feelings of emptiness and focus on the things that we CAN do!

This year I've asked for people to send me pictures, poems, extracts of writing etc for anything that they can do. The response has been amazing! I just hope I do everyone justice! You really are some amazingly talented people! I have been sent so many images, poems and songs that I just can't include them all even though I would love to, so I shall be trying to add more over the coming weeks to continue the celebration of talents and creativity which has been demonstrated through our members.

Some of our members have posted some of their talents on a thread on the facebook page, this is a list of some of them..
  • Shane from Australia: "I make fishing rods, do glass etching, and calligraphy. Helps keep the black birds at bay"
  •  Marybeth from USA: "Right now I'm in school to become a medical lab tech. Hopefully one day I can work for the national institute for mental health so I can help them in any way. "
  •  Kathie from USA: "Been a writer of poetry for 27 + years!"
  • Lisa: "I gave birth to twins at 38. Thats creative art in itself lol." 
Singer/Songwriters:
  •  G. Smith with his demo Naked Feet:

  • Giles Toller with Oxytocin Heart:


Crafters:
Knitting by JJ
 Sewers and soap makers such as Helen http://www.facebook.com/HarrietRoseSews 
Helen can be found on Facebook: www.facebook.com/HarrietRoseSoaps


We have photographers who can be found here:
Coral who is a full time Mum and lives in Derbyshire:  http://www.facebook.com/CBPhotography.UK

This is far from extensive compilation of the talents of our members, just a few. Don't ever sell yourself short because you are diagnosed with depression or another mental health illness. You are just as important, special and talented as anyone else. Do not let their ignorance diminish your creativity and your abilities.

Do something to celebrate World Mental Health Day today. Blog about it, post or tweet about it on Facebook or twitter, or a forum somewhere. Help break that stigma. No matter where you live, no matter what you like/don't like, no matter what your age or any other factor in your life, don't let depression or mental health illness be what defines you, just something that you live and deal with. You CAN beat it. You CAN get better, you CAN work through it. Never feel you have less worth or that you are a failure  (something we hear really often on the forum and page) because you have a mental health illness. You are NOT a failure! Talk about how you are feeling, break the stigma! 

Sunday, 7 October 2012

Guest Blog - The Power of Talking - Lisa from Victoria in Australia

I had this sent through to me, and it really touched me. I thank you Lisa for sharing your story of pain and yet you are still full of hope. What Lisa has to say and her message about the importance of talking is SO important. Whether you talk here, on Facebook, on our forum, or however else you feel comfortable, just do it. Make that decision today to talk to someone about how you really are feeling. 


Thank you Lisa, 
Suzi

Lisa's Story:

I never wanted to talk. I never thought it could help me. Turns out, I've just never given anyone the chance to listen.

I'll be honest, I'm still not great at voicing my thoughts, but after one scare, and a break down to my mother, it was all over red rover. I'd run out of options.

See, I always had a lack of self confidence, that with the sneaking grit of all mental illness, it quietly morphed into a depression/anxiety over my high school years.

Not really ready to face the world alone (and penniless) I opted for a gap year, hating practically every moment I had to smile and converse with a customer, or ask a colleague for help. How was it to know this would become a serious problem, that it wasn't me just it being a 'people person'?
In a sense this probably made the carpet slip from underneath me more than it would've ordinarily, had I not grown to (aside from my great family, and a small group of friends who were slipping further away by the month) completely despise my home town, for its people and also severe lack of ocean water, my happy place.

But alas I had taken on an interstate move to search for my dream ( I thought it was my dream, but then I wasn't sure, what if I wasn't good enough, what if I never got a job?

Frustration built with every not up to scratch mark, and mindset crept down and down with every time I was more than not up to scratch, or when I knew I was falling behind my classmates. No matter how many times you tell yourself not to compare yourself to others, there no helping but to think you should be better.

Not asking for help has always been a typical characteristic of mine, but the more trouble I have, the less confidence I have to ask. Then I dug myself too far into a hole far too big to escape from. And that's when it happened. Self harm in itself is often far more severe then what I attempted. But the principle is the same. we need help. it is all finally too much. I got scared, really, really scared.

It was a good time to realise that I could tell someone, that a I had a friend I could trust to understand, and look after me. Besides my parents, I'd never had that before. I'd have never realised how much my struggle was actually making my studies hard, and vice-versa. The big step had been taken and I applied, and was granted special consideration. I had counselling, sought to have medication reviewed and registered as a disability student. Within days it seemed like a support network had sprung up from the ground, something that I'd never previously been able to see.

I learnt something new.

People. Care.

There is still a massive uphill journey ahead. I am terrified of it. But at least I'm on that journey.


Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Our first "Guest Blogger" - Leah from Linconshire UK

I was thrilled, humbled and rather amazed when I read through my huge stack of (mostly spam it must be said, no I'm not that popular!) emails when I came accross one from someone called Leah.  She had been passed the link to our facebook page and in particular the post where I asked for Guest Bloggers. 


I was so touched and amazed when I read what she had written... At this point I'm going to let Leah take over this post with my gratitude for being our first guest blogger... 

You can follow Leah's personal, open, honest and moving blog HERE
If you want to contribute as a guest blogger, please CONTACT ME

Suzi

Learning to cross the road...
When I was 14 or 15 (I never can remember exactly, even after all these years of fixating on it), I died. That is, the life I had had before that age ceased to be, and I was re-born as someone I didn't recognise, and didn't welcome. The child I used to be - the clever, precocious child who performed in amateur dramatics, loved to dress up and dreamed of doing anything as an adult which would break the mould - became first a frightened adolescent who, believing she was losing her mind, reined herself in for 'temporary' protection, and then a clever, serious adult who had become afraid to cross the road in case she couldn't get back.

You must understand: the change in me - though gradual - was so dramatic, so overwhelming that I have mourned that precocious, brave, stubborn little girl for fifteen years. What I didn't appreciate, in that sad, lonely fifteen years, was that the ones that we lose never leave us entirely. They make us who we are, physically and mentally, and so even though the little girl I used to be had gone, she had left in me the most strident parts of herself. Her stubborness. Her tenacity. Her bravery. Her unquenchable need to know 'how?' and 'why?' Unbeknown to me, in the midst of my grief for the life I had lost and the life I could have had, I had had the tools I needed to live all along. Not the tools I needed to live her life, but the tools to live my life. My way.

This all sounds like I had some sort of lightbulb moment, or celestial epiphany. But of course, I didn't. This 'knowledge', if you can call it that, has dawned on me only recently, and only since I began to be accepting or who I am rather than grieving for who I was. In the intervening fifteen years between being diagnosed with anxiety, agoraphobia and panic I still needed all those character traits that my younger self had left me. I completed GCSEs, A-Levels, an Undergraduate and then a Masters degree. I got married, left home, and worked full-time. I existed in a 'normal' way. It took all the energy, resources and sheer bloody-minded determination I had. And bravery. It took bravery too. Make no mistake: living alongside something as utterly terrifying as a fear of your own mind is not something a weak or feeble-minded person could do.

There was one thing I needed which that little girl didn't leave me though. She was perhaps too young and too keen re-invent the world to understand it at the time, but even a half-life teaches you some lessons: bad things do happen to good people (but they also happen to bad people, too), the thing you're looking for will always be in the last place you look, and if you want to be accepted, you must first accept yourself.

You see, I spent so long mourning for the loss of what I used to be that I neglected to be grateful for what I am: a survivor, and an achiever (who just happens to have a mental illness). This latter fact isn't the bad apple in the barrel that you might imagine. It's just a different apple; a part of me, no more or less significant than if I had Asthma, or Diabetes. It wasn't until I accepted this that I developed the confidence to start on the road to recovery. I still haven't learned to cross that road yet, but for the first time in fifteen years I'm standing at the crossing with hope.

Leah
Lincolnshire, UK.

Monday, 24 September 2012

Happenings! 24th Spetember 2012

Just to say "hello" I'm still here! :)

DWD on Facebook has grow so large and so busy! On the one hand it's amazing to see over 9400 people all being there to support each other through their daily struggles, through the worldwide mindfield of getting help and of how to respond to the well known "pull yourself together" brigade.  On the other hand I find it deeply sad that so many people are suffering with mental health illness and the stigma which is still attached to it.
We have an amazing album there which shows pictures people have taken of the areas in which they live. WOW our planet it amazingly beautiful and our members photographs show this so well! It still amazes me how small the world has become with technology and how quickly I can be talking to people in Australia, America, Hawaii and Canada amongst others as easily as talking to people in my own country and my own front room in Surrey, UK...

Over the next few days and weeks I'm going to be posting some truly inspirational guest blogs by our members on DWD and our FB page. It's something I feel strongly about - giving people a voice and breaking down the stigma of mental health illness through educating people as to how things really are. I will be including other related blogs too. I'm hoping that this will be a brilliant resource for anyone who isn't able to put into words how they are feeling as well as being a starting point for a "It's not just me" moment and a starting point for talking to those around you about mental health illness, depression, anxiety, paranoia and other related issues.
Huge thank you's to anyone brave enough to email me their story!

Suzi.

Monday, 10 September 2012

10th September - Apologies, Sad Goodbyes, Welcome Hellos and general rambllings....

It feels like it's been forever since I've written a blog post and for that I'm sorry, but so much has been happening both in my own personal life and in the life of DealingWithDepression In fact so much has happened that I'm not really sure where to start, so forgive me if this doesn't make much sense or is in much order, but I know that you'll all understand.

Personally my husband has been struggling with his depression, anxiety, paranoia and social phobia and it's all been really hard to cope with as well as our eldest starting secondary school. I am so proud of our son as he has Aspergers Syndrome and finds change and new things really difficult to cope with. I hope he's settling in OK, although there appear to be a few teething issues, but I am sure we'll get there as long as he starts talking to me!

DWD has gone global in a really big way almost overnight and whilst I am thrilled with that, I'm scared by the responsibility I feel to so many - to give the right advice, to be online enough to make a difference and that I can handle it all. Our Facebook Page has shot up from struggling to get to 200 "likes" to now having over 6,600 worldwide members. It's really hard to know how much to post on there and I know that I haven't got that balance quite right yet, but I am working on it.
To cope with the huge increase in demand I've been really lucky at recruiting a number of "staff" to help monitor the page, answer the sometimes 10s, sometimes 100s of private messages we get every day as well as posting interesting or relavant items to the page to keep interest and to help reach out and break that terrible stigma which so many are struggling with on a daily basis.  The staff are fantastic and knowing that they are all working around their own lives, families, work commitments and mental health issues they are the unsung heros of DWD and they make it all possible. I just couldn't do it alone.
I'm trying hard to learn how different countries see mental health and how their systems work, it's hard and it's complicated, but most people are genuinely understanding when I suggest something which doesn't quite work for them, and for that I'm really grateful.

I've had to increase the staffing on the forum too as we have sadly lost our wonderful Aspasia to a teaching postion teaching English as a Foreign Language in Cairo. Whilst I am thrilled that she's doing something she has always wanted to do, it's no secret that Im going to miss having her around to text! She's not only an awesome moderator and someone who can always put into words what I'm thinking but she's become a great friend over the years too. I know that although this is a massive life change for her, it's going to be a great one for her and will be nothing short of awesome for those whose lives she will change.  So a sad goodbye to Aspasia for the time being, but she will be back ;)
The upside of us becoming much busier is that we've changed some staffing too. Emmie who is nothing short of miraculous with a wicked sense of humour, owner of her own business and Mum to the wonderful "Midget" has stepped up to the post of Assistant Admin which I'm really pleased about.
The lovely Jarre and Squishymama have both stepped up as Moderators which is wonderful as they are both perfect for the role and I know they will help shape and push DWD onwards and upwards.

Today has been a wierd day. It is "suicide prevention day" and yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of the passing of my lovely Dad. I've kind of therefore been thinking about grief a lot today and tried to be reaching out and reminding people of all the wonderful organisations who are out there to help when someone is in crisis. Samaritans are one such organisation who do such amazing work 24 hours a day, 7 days of the week, 52 weeks of the year. They are trained to talk to people over the phone/text or email.  Never forget that you are never alone, there is ALWAYS someone you can talk to.

I've promised myself that I'm going to do more blog posts and hope to share some more of the wonderful things that our members of the forum and facebook group do. We have some amazing artists, writers, posts, photographers and everything inbetween.
If you want to submit something creative or a link to your own business/site to be posted on this blog, please don't hesitate to CONTACT ME

I know this is a really long post (sorry) but once I started typing I just couldn't stop!

I normally do a couple of plugs for wonderful businesses which support DWD through their owners giving up their time to help with the technical/moderating/admin of either or both the forum or the FB page, but I know this is really long and it's the first in a while, so I'll keep it short:

Hills Handicrafts - Handmade beautifully crafted items
Kangarinos - Slings and baby carriers
Templedene Consultants - Website design, hosting and CMS
Precious Jewels Gems - Handmade beautiful jewellery
Alison George - Independent Trader for Phoenix Cards

Thanks for reading, I do appreciate it! :)

Suzi




Friday, 17 February 2012

Huge changes and charity events!!

Well this week has been HUGE for the mighty DWD! We have moved from our old forum and software to a shiny new and much cleaner and more positive DWD with a new colour scheme and layout! Even though we have much nicer software and colours we have kept all the sections that the old forum had and even made some new ones.
So far all the feedback from members has been positive even though we've had some teething bugs to work out. These should now be sorted and we are up and running in a very very positive way.


One of our lovely members is doig a charity walk to raise money for Rethink Mental Illness. If you can spare anything then that would be great if you could sponser him! 55 miles in 24 hours is rather impressive and a great challenge!     http://www.justgiving.com/FabianMcNeilly

Another of our other members is helping out at http://www.umhan.com/  University of Birmingham are running events and asking people to fill out surveys to do with mental health awareness next week. They will be around on 22nd February (Wednesday) and helping people make pledges! I know that they'd love to see as many of you as possible!!