Christmas Tips and a poem about depression

As you know I like to showcase things that the members of DWD do, their thoughts, tips for coping and how they are able to open up to others about how they are feeling.  Today is no different!

We've been brainstorming this week about thoughts and strategies to cope with the festivities and everyone has come up with some brilliant ideas such as

Take ten minutes, sit down and think about what YOU want from the holiday. Ask partners/children too, if you have them. Then come up with a plan that includes only what you want to do and can cope with.

If that means you order pizza on Christmas day like I did last year, so what? It's what I wanted to do, and it was awesome. No-one will enjoy the time if you push too hard, no-one will enjoy it if there's a big family argument, and no-one will enjoy it if you don't, because those who love you want you to be happy and won't be if you aren't.

The whole thread can be find here: Tips on how to cope with Christmas

We also know that having children around can cause stress when you are trying desperately to do all those things which we seem to be putting pressure on ourselves to do, so we've come up with a list of activities which are simple to do, but will keep children of all ages and abilities entertained and give you some time out if you need it!

One of those activities is:

Christmas/festive wreaths. Take a apaper plate and cut out the middle. The decorate the outside with leaves, or pom poms (green and a few red in Mr Maker) or packing peanuts or like in our house, glitter and much of it!


The whole thread is here:  Ideas to keep small people amused over the festive period. 

This poem has been written by one of our members over night when she was unable to sleep. I think it's beautifully written.

Depression is a illness
It's not very kind
It makes one feel low
And upsetting thoughts in the mind

It's time to get help
When it makes you so low
For there are ways
to help it go

There's nothing to be ashamed of
It doesn't mean you are week
It can happen to anyone
And makes things look so bleak

It may take time
To get better
Make sure you talk
Even if it means writting a letter

Dwd is a safe place to be
The people are supportive and kind
It's a good place to talk
To get it off your mind

They are not professionals
But have experiences of their own
Through themselves, family members
Great help they have shown

You are important
So talk about how you feel
Accept the help
And give yourself time to heel

Remember you are not alone
There is help out there
To get you through
And make it easier to bare

There is a light at the end of the tunnel
As you learn how to cope
It will get better
Just keep on to that hope


Whilst we know that the festive season is one filled with happiness for so many, we at DWD know that it's not always like that, so we will be open as usual and be there to listen if you need it. Remember, you aren't alone and there is always someone to talk to. 

Living with my own negativity (a positive post)

Once again a DWD member (actually a global mod on this occasion)  has managed to do something which so many books, medical journal articles, media representations etc just have not ever managed to do for me. She has brilliantly explained how she feels and how her negative thought processes work and affect her on a daily basis.  The following is her post, in it's whole state and once again I haven't changed anything.

Thought I'd share my morning with you! I'm not entirely sure why, partly because it's opened up a few wounds so I'm exorcising what my brain has uncovered, plus it was explaining some aspects of depression to someone who doesn't understand it and it may help people see more about their condition from how I see mine or something! ;-)

I run our local bfing group with another lady and we had a big meeting with the staff last week. I felt it went very badly but speaking to her she reassured me that it didn't. Then she said "You're very pesimistic!" So I attempted to explain what life in my brain is like.

I explained about the big black hole of depression as I see it. 'Normal people' wander around on the surface not in the hole, my normal position is halfway down it, I've been down at the bottom as well (I didn't much like it there) and I had about a week when I start fluoxetine when I popped out the hole and that was just weird but usually I lurk around the middle. How do you cope with that she asked. I told her that it just seemed normal to me now but that I tried to be aware that I was in the hole and so didn't always see things as there are, I try to use other people (like her with regards to the meeting for example) as a gauge to see if I am looking at things negatively. The example I used:

There are 100 statements, 99 of them are positive, one is negative. I will ignore the 99 and focus on the one, I will build it up, focus on it, pick away at it, the 99 won't matter because of this one negative comment. I can't see it for what it is or look at it rationally. Over the years I have learned that I do this and I try to use other people as a gauge as to whether I am being unduly negative and work hard to look at things as they really are iyswim.

It makes change difficult as I will automatically focus on the negative and predict the future ("It's going to be awful because of xyz, I won't cope."). I do spend a lot of time now trying to work through my negative feelings, find the positive ones and get them all in perspective but it still takes a lot of work at the moment (which is very relevant as our bfing group is going through a lot of changes and while I may not seem receptive I am working very hard on it I just find some things difficult)

Having said of all of that I'm not depressed at the moment (or rather I would not consider myself as such!), I would consider myself more to be eeyore, I see the negative before the positive but I'm working on it.

Does any of that sounds familiar to other people? How do you put things in perspective?


Huge thanks to you for allowing me to post this. I know that many of our members have found this post helpful, and I am sure that many other people will too. 


Thank you.

Dpression through the eyes of a DWD forum member

This has come from a post on our wonderful forum today. It has been written by one of our members who wishes to remain anonymous. She has been going through a really rough blip and is working hard to find her way through it. She is doing all the right things by asking for help and shouting to get it when needed. She is talking to those around her and tying to make them understand how things are for her - how they REALLY are.

These are her words.

Depression is such a terrifying illness. It is like living in hell. It's like a feeling of being stuck in mud and struggling to get out. The feelings of no self worth makes it 100 times harder to ask for help. Because a depressed person believes there is no hope and no point. It may take several people to point out that they need help but its hard for that person to admit it. It's a challenge to see the positive because negative thoughts feel stronger and are taking over. One who is depressed may feel alone and that no one understands them. It is important that they know they are not alone and others are there to help. Depression is a nightmare that can go on and on. There is no set time for recovery and no instant cure. Even when one starts to feel better they must be prepared for blips and accept that this is not a weakness. Depression is a serious illness. Good news. It can be treated. It may take time. The most important thing is to take one step at a time. Give yourself time to heal and feel proud of every achievements and steps forward. I urge anyone reading this who thinks they may have depression to ask for help. Don't be ashamed. It's not your fault. Would you put off getting help if you broke a leg. I know how extremely difficult this illness is. I really thought I was better. I was so positive and beginning to feel happy again. I saw the signs when it started coming back. I was desperately upset to admit it was happening again. I put if off because I was frightened.I didn't want to live in that hell again. I wanted to punish myself because I thought it was all my fault. But thanks to some wonderful people (you know who you are) I found that courage and strength in myself to ask for the help I needed. I need to tell myself no matter how bad things seem at the time there is always light at the end of the tunnel.


Her words are powerful... But remember. She is right. Don't be ashamed to ask for help. YOU are important, YOU are special, YOU are more than worth someone's time, understanding and support. 


www.dealingwithdepression.co.uk will always be there if you need or want us to listen to. Don't be afraid to make that step and ask for help.